I’m posting this and letting y’all know. I’m in the works of some books. It’s a huge goal for me to get the first one published next spring…. Here’s a piece for your grey matter to absorb:
I have found that one of the hardest things to accept in life is disappointment. It is a slow, toxic burn, one that will tear your heart into pathetic strips, like a mute paper shredder; just going through the motions that it is programmed to do. No one wants to accept the emotion nor does one want to claim it as theirs. So we simply push the ‘ON’ button and go about our business, as if the heaviness of our failures does not weaken our souls.
My heart was pounding inside my skull so violently I felt as if I was a sick animal being drug tested. My eyes were stitched back with thorns and burned as if acid had been dumped into them. Perhaps it was demons inside me coming out, but unfortunately it wasn’t, it was my life getting fucked up, in an instant my entire body was depleted of it’s strength. I do not know how long I was out for but it must not have been for long. Socks stood before me while I tried to grip ahold of reality. Small pebbles and clumps of dried dirt embedded into my soft skin, my mind covered in a heavy fog and the pain in my spine was something so incredibly new to me that I didn’t know what to make of it. It was just so amazingly painful that my heart raced at speeds I couldn’t handle and suddenly it occurred to me…
I had fallen and not just at this very moment. But for years to come.